My view on adopting

This is strictly my opinion about adopting a child. I am an adoptee so I would like to make some suggestions to parents that are seriously thinking about adoption. I believe you should have somewhat of an open adoption. I truly think that you need to know the background of the biological parents. You need to be able to share this with your adopted child as soon as they are old enough. Honesty is a big key in adoption. Do not let them find out from someone else that they are adopted. My parents started telling me at a young age. I know from my experience that it is better to know all medical history. Also I feel it is important to get somewhat of an idea of why your parents gave you up. Do not candy coat anything for an adopted child. Keep it real. Always be willing to listen to anything they would like to talk about concerning their biological family. It might make you uncomfortable but trust me it will help. If you have other children make sure they are all treated equally. Do not baby the adoptee because it could hurt the other siblings . It will cause resentment also. Always remember that an adopted child will feel rejection even if you show them all the love in the world. Keep communicating with them. Giving up a child is something I can not imagine myself doing. I can not imagine not knowing how my child is from day to day. If their parents are good to them. I struggle with this everyday. I really try to understand the circumstances leading up to adoption. This is unforgiveness that a lot of adoptees struggle with. Adoptees tend to build walls of protection around them. They protect themselves in a sense from ever letting someone hurt them again. That may not make sense to people but that is the only way I can explain some adoptees being quite or unable to open up. The other thing I think is very important is do not consider adoption if you already have a broken relationship or a toxic relationship. This will only add fuel to the fire so to speak. Adoptees start with broken relationships they need to be in a healthy loving enviroment.