Life now that I know my birth mother

My life did not change as much as I had thought it would after I finally met my birth mother. I was in an horrible relationship that kept me away from my home state where most of my adopted family lived and my birth mother’s family. I could probably count on my hands the times that I saw my birth mother. I met some of her family (my family). My younger brother lived in Florida. I lived in Florida also. We saw each other from time to time until he moved to Pennsylvania a few years back. We have drifted apart now. There are some differences of opinions that we share about my birth family. I know things that he does not. If he did it might change his opinions then maybe it would not. My oldest sister has now moved to Florida as well. We are a few hours away. This darn pandemic has put a damper on us being able to see one another. My sister has kidney failure. She was diagnosed when she was young. Her birth father and birth grandfather both passed away from complications due to their kidneys. My sister had a very rough childhood in my opinion. I wish that I could have grown up with her to be with her during her rough times. I know that people might not understand that. I love my adopted family but I love some of my birth family that I have come to know. I feel guilty that I was not there for my sister. That makes me angry inside that my choice in this matter was taken away from me. I would give her my kidney if I was a match. Some people in my life do not understand that. Why wouldn’t I? She is my family! It is a risk but one I would take if I was approved. In an adoptees life there are many things that are chosen for them. Choice is a big thing these days. Society throws the word “choice” around a lot. There is such a broad spectrum when it comes to choice. I am going to write a blog on that very topic. I loved my adopted grandparents. My life revolved around them. They are all passed away. My birth grandparents are all passed away. I was so excited to meet my birth father’s parents but when that time came the only meeting I had with them was at their graves. An adoptee’s life is so full of ups and downs. We go through so many more emotions and losses then the average person. Especially when we venture out to meet our birth family. That can be a blessing as well as an open can of worms in some cases.