I believe that I had mentioned this in a past blog post but I will mention it once again that when I met my birth mother in 1994 I received my birth father’s address as well as his latest phone number. I kept that in my wallet for many years. Both of my birth parents ended up within a twenty mile radius of me when I was growing up. I had no desire to know him because for years I assumed that he was a bad guy because of the one-sided stories I heard. Word of advice, never assume anything especially in adoption! All I knew was my birth father’s name. I later found out that I had a brother from my father’s side. I was under the impression that my birth father had two women pregnant at the same time but he chose one over the other. Having two women pregnant was not the case as events started to unfold I found out that my brother was a couple years younger than I. This part of my adoption story may be the roughest part of my own personal roller coaster ride of adoption. Stay tuned for the rest of my story about the events leading up to finding my birth father.
As an adoptee that had so many struggles with identity and rejection growing up I highly recommend an open adoption! I understand that there are some instances where it could be dangerous for the child to know the parents but in those cases still keep the honesty flowing throughout your adopted child’s life. This is a happy adoption story because of the openness.
Had I known who you were
what you knew and what you did not
we could have talked it through
our relationship would have grew
now so much space is between us
if only we knew
what we could do to close the gap
I ask you, Dad #2
“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” -Sigmund Freud