When I first found my biological mother and family my sister shared a secret in her life. Remember I just met my sister. The secret that she felt she could tell me was that she too had put a child up for adoption. I was very glad that she could share this with her sibling that she had just met yet I was so sad that she felt she could not share it with her (our) family. No matter the circumstances surrounding the end result of an unwanted pregnancy /adoption you should be there for your family member. This is not something a young adult should go through because it may not be accepted especially from a family of woman that put their children up for adoption. I do not like adoption myself. I was adopted and I would not recommend it. However I strongly am against abortion so I praise women for choosing adoption instead of taking the easy way out. I urge parents to always listen to your girls and let them know they can come to you regardless if you agree with the circumstance or not let them know you will help them through. I myself would not let my grandchild be adopted out. I would take care of them before that ever happened! Things happen in life because of bad choices but learn not to react with a bad choice after. I feel like adoption on my birth mother’s side seem to be a pattern. I stopped this pattern I guess because I chose to keep my son no matter how hard it would be. I had no help but I did it. I would never let my child feel the rejection that I did. I have learned from my sister and others that have adopted out that they were doing what they thought best for their child at the time. Some women do it because it is the easy way. Some do it because they are scared and I believe some put their child up for adoption because they have NO family support to help them. My point to this true story is make sure as parents you keep an open mind and heart when it comes to your children. Know what is going on in their lives. My sister had a closed adoption but her son found her through social media. I believe it was God that brought them together. I think open adoption is the best way to go. My nephew has the same kidney illness as my sister. They can help each-other through it now. Medical information is very important to have. In a lot of closed adoptions that is not even disclosed. My sister disclosed that information in her closed adoption so that her boy would know. I hold anger in many ways because my mom gave me up. I did not get to help my sister go through many things that she did alone. I also feel guilty that I did not endure what she did or that I could have saved her from abuse in her life. What angers me the most is that my sister did not feel she could tell my birth mom or family. That saddens me. Please if you get anything out of this story as a mom listen to your kids. Be aware of things in their life. If you are planning on adoption please do open adoption. Save the adopted child from all of the unknown and most of all let the child have an identity of their own.
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