I am an adoptee. I have a few things that I strongly suggest adopted parents do not do. You want the best possible relationship with your child that you can have.
As you are considering adoption or in the process of adoption you have to prepare for the fact that your child will more than likely want to find there birth family at some point in their life. I would guess that 97% at least of adoptees I have read or known did. You can be the best parents in the world but this could still happen. You can also keep the adoption open. Many adopted parents and siblings get offended by this scenario. They should not.
Keep your relationship tight. Let them know that you love them. Let them talk to you about their adoption openly. It takes very special parents to adopt and even more special parents to go through the process of finding their child’s birth family with them!
There are so many reasons that you can not possibly understand that your child will feel the need to find their birth family. My reasons start with my medical background for myself as well as my children on down to my grandchildren. Another one is adoptees want to understand their identity, their genetics, and such. Probably one of the major reasons is to answer the big question “why” Rejection is a huge inner problem that most of us deal with. As I have gotten older I realize what kind of special love it took my adopted mom to take me in as her own. That balances out the rejection feelings. I call her my angel mom. As a child, we do not have mature enough minds to comprehend all of this. All I ask is that if you adopt please be supportive if your child later attempts to find their family. -Elizabeth
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