Losing a sibling in adoption

I was called on July 9 just before I arrived at church. The call was from my biological sister’s longtime partner. He called to tell me that my sister’s doctor came into the room to tell him that my sister had an infection in her foot and they would have to amputate it but she probably would not survive such a surgery. My sister had been in the hospital for almost two weeks because her foot was so painful she could no longer walk on it. The doctors finally discovered that a main artery in the leg was severely blocked. They did procedures to clear the blockage but that did not help. My sister was told on July 7th that she was better and would be going to rehab soon. Two days later the doctors were saying she was dying. I believe that they missed something and my sister soon contracted a bacteria in her foot during her stay at the hospital but I try not to get in my head about it because she is gone and I can not change that. She passed at 12:05 am on July 12, 2023 at the age of 55.

I thank God that I was able to be by my sister’s side to comfort her in her last agonizing days even though it completely broke my heart in pieces. I did not get to grow up with my sister but for the 27 years that I did know her I felt a strong bond with her. We have both been through some very hard things in our lives (she went through far more) and we were able to talk to eachother and share our deepest secrets with one another. Both of us had different ways of looking at my adoption. We both had things that made us angry because of my adoption. I wished that I could have been there to protect her from the evil one in her life growing up but I know that I should be thankful that I did not have to endure that. I feel a deep guilt at times that I was spared of the kind of pain I could have had growing up with my biological family. My sister could not bring herself to forgive our mom for her choices. I tried so hard to get her to let things go. She was only hurting her walk with God by holding on to her unforgiveness. Some of the pain she had I totally understand why she had it. I am blessed to know God like I do. I just pray in the end my sister through prayer now understands God’s love for her. I have now lost my adopted brother and my biological sister in the last two years. These losses have effected me in so many different ways. The saying “blood is thicker than water” is a myth. I loved both my biological sister and my adopted brother the same. I miss them both so much. When you lose a sibling I think part of your heart dies. That is how my heart feels anyway.

Losing not one but two siblings

A piece of our puzzle is missing

Death has taken you away

I was not prepared for the loss

Why couldn’t you stay

My heart has been broken

Part of it is gone today

You both left without a goodbye

All I want to do is cry

I pray that God makes the way

For my heart to mend

Until then it will be day by day